Is this the worst dining experience in the Winelands?

January 12, 2009

Is this the worst dining experience in the Winelands?

A recent trip to Stellenbosch turned violently sour when I encountered what I imagine can only be the worst dining experience in the Cape Winelands. That’s a big statement, I know, but I find it hard to believe that anyone could top the Louisenhof restaurant in terms of poor food quality, a dull and uncomfortable setting and very average service.

I can see what the Louisenhof brains trust have tried to do – they have gone for an unpretentious winelands feel – and, done properly, this would probably be considered a welcome change in the area. Done poorly, as they have done, it is more like Uitenhage has come to Stellenbosch.

Let’s start with the setup. It’s 30 degrees out there in the summer, so sitting under a tin roof was akin spending quality time inside a Malaysian shoe factory and all that the pair of fans located up front managed to do was persuade the flies to move a bit further down the restaurant - directly onto my plate.

The menu – or in this case the whiteboard with scribblings upon it – was hardly inspiring, very limited and not that brilliantly priced, given the massive savings Louisenhof must have achieved by opting for no form of décor whatsoever. I opted for the meat platter with homemade bread and mustard. While it may have been homemade bread, the waiter neglected to tell me it had been made in 2008 and the mustard was so terrifying that my darling actually asked me turn my plate away as it offended her eyes. Needless to say, her ‘delicious’ salad - creatively comprised of an entire lettuce, half a tomato, some watered down mayonnaise and a few pieces of barbeque chicken – did not go down well and neither dish was finished.

All of this time we were treated to the blaring background noise of some Adam Sandler-type wedding singer doing remarkably horrible cover versions of soppy love songs.

Yet the worst was still to come. After cashing up, we were making a hasty exit from the scene when our waitron waltzed up to us and embarrassingly pointed out that we still owed R80. Apparently we were each expected to pay R20 for the ‘privilege’ of listening to some Rick Astley wannabe wail about in the background while we ate. A message to Louisenhof: Cover charges are cool if you have The Parlotones playing in the background, not cool to add it to the bottom of someone’s bill and expect them to pay.

If anyone knows how to get hold of Louisenhof, kindly direct them to this post – they deserve to see it, it might just clear up why they get no repeat business. It’s a shame because their 2008 Pinotage was very drinkable.

In the meantime I challenge anyone to name and shame any establishment that come close to the level of incompetence shown by the crew at Louisenhof.

Written by Bar Rat

Posted in Restaurants